A SAMUEL FRENCH, INC. TITLE

Sandy Toes & Salty Kisses

Full-Length Play, Comedy  /  4w, 4m

The Lovers’ Landing Beach Hotel, a popular wedding destination, has acquired a certain mystique as the home of Sandy Toes & Salty Kisses. Recently inheriting the hotel from her late father, Audrina Brown quickly discovers that her Uncle Bubba, the hotel manager, is running a variety of “extra-curricular activities” on the property. It’s a mystery. It’s a love story. It’s a new farce by the authors of Sex Please We’re Sixty.

Sandy Toes & Salty Kisses

  • Cast Size
    Cast Size
    4w, 4m
  • Duration
    Duration
    120 minutes (2 hours)
  • SubGenre
    Subgenre
    Romantic Comedy
  • Audience
    Target Audience
    Adult, Senior, Teen (Age 14 - 18)

Details

Summary

Bubba’s extra-curricular activities, without exception, appear to be illegal. They run the gamut from cash-prize bingo to a rum distillery to off-track betting. You name it, Bubba is doing it. Arriving at the hotel is Beatrice Rutherford-Smythe (the epitome of the New England blue bloods) and her daughter Traci, to check out the hotel for Traci’s wedding. They have an appointment with Madame Coco, the hotel’s wedding planner, who unfortunately has eloped. The only staff member who knows anything about weddings is Uncle Bubba, who, coerced by Audrina, now has to spend the rest of the play alternating between himself and Madame Coco.

Two other guests are checking in today. Traci’s fiance, Peter Mudd, and a mysterious Douglas DuPont. Through a mix-up of room numbers, a series of mistaken identities ensues. Candy, the hotel receptionist, is bribed by Beatrice to flirt with Peter, but ends up with Douglas. Douglas, who is actually an innocent travel writer for a destination wedding publication, is mistaken for a federal agent from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. Candy's report to Beatrice introduces a roller coaster of events creating an on-again, off-again wedding.

In the midest of all this mayhem, Bubba and Beatrice appear to be falling in love. Peter and Traci are reconciled (several times), and Audrina and Douglas find they have a strong attraction for each other. Throughout the play, though, one question remains unanswered: Is it true love or is it the mystique of “Sandy Toes & Salty Kisses” at the Lovers’ Landing Beach Hotel?

History
Sandy Toes & Salty Kisses was first produced in the United Sates by The Ritz Company Players at The Waterfront at Silver Birches in Hawley, Pennsylvania on 9 February 2018. The director was Sandy Gabrielson and the designer was Sarah Clauss.

CANDY (Age 25+) – A local gal who is working to put herself through college. She is vivacious, and personable, all of which make her eminently suitable for her job as the hotel receptionist. She enjoys her job, and although she appears to be a bit of a “flake,” her innocent, goodnatured and quirky personality always shines through to cover her inadequacies. Candy’s innate, innocent ability to make a mess of things causes many comedic visual sequences, which involve her, and therefore she needs to be reasonably agile and athletic.

WILLBERFORCE “BUBBA” BROWN (Age 50+) – Bubba is the younger brother of Archibald Brown, the former “recently deceased” owner of the hotel. He is rough around the edges, ingenious, and has a heart of gold. He has been the maintenance and operations manager of the hotel for many years. We learn as the play progresses that most of these operations are unconnected with the daily running of the hotel, and are highly illegal. Bubba, however, seems to have found a way around the illegalities (at least in his own mind). When Madame Coco, the wedding planner, suddenly elopes, he is coerced by his niece into playing her role. A series of quick changes have the Rutherford-Smythes believing that there really is a very “eccentric” Madame Coco.

AUDRINA BROWN (Age 30+) – The late Archibald’s daughter and Bubba’s niece, she grew up in the hotel but has not been there very much since graduating high school. She inherited the property a few weeks ago and has very recently taken over the business end of running the hotel. She is efficient, resourceful, smart and practical. She quickly learns that this hotel does not run like any other business with which she has been involved. As a loving and doting niece, she is faced with the problem of Uncle Bubba. Is he a “Good ol’ Southern boy” or a crafty criminal?

BEATRICE RUTHERFORD-SMYTHE (Age 50+) – She belongs to what the authors call “The American Aristocracy,” the so-called blue bloods of New England. She is more concerned with her prospective son-in-law’s family history and background than anything else about him. She has a superior attitude, which tends to annoy people with whom she comes into contact. She is very used to dominating those around her and likes things done her way. As the play progresses, she adapts to the casual lifestyle of Lovers’ Landing, and ironically finds herself attracted to Bubba, a man who is the total antithesis of everything in her life.

TRACI RUTHERFORD-SMYTHE (Age 25+) – Beatrice’s daughter, she has selected the Lovers’ Landing Beach Hotel for her destination wedding, probably to avoid the socialite trappings upon which her mother would otherwise insist. She is marrying Peter, whom she has known for only a short time, despite the fact that her mother considers him totally unsuitable. At first we see her as a self-centered, pampered, rich girl. But, as she discovers what she thinks is her fiancé’s apparent infidelity, she becomes a strong-minded woman, determined to discover the truth.

DOUGLAS DUPONT (Age 30+) – Checks into the hotel and arouses Bubba’s suspicions when he is found taking detailed photographs of the hotel and asking questions of the locals in town. Bubba believes him to be a government agent from the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. Audrina agrees to help her uncle discover who he is, but in doing so, begins to fall for Douglas. Candy innocently mistakes him for Peter Mudd, causing Douglas a great deal of trouble. While investigating the hotel, he becomes convinced that there is some truth to the mystique of Lovers’ Landing, the home of Sandy Toes & Salty Kisses, especially after Candy, Traci, Audrina, Beatrice, and – yes – even Madame Coco “come on to him.” It isn’t till the end of the play that it is revealed he is a writer for a destination wedding magazine. (This role can be doubled by the actor playing Peter Mudd.)

PETER MUDD (Age 30+) – Traci’s fiancé arrives at Lovers’ Landing, and despite his rocky relationship with his future mother-in-law, the dragon lady, he is looking forward to spending time with his lovely bride-to-be. Alas, poor Peter never gets that chance. One event after another, created accidentally by Candy, leaves Peter in compromising positions, with Beatrice and Traci, believing he has “strayed,” purposely rendering him unconscious. Despite the on again-off again wedding, Peter continues to try to convince Traci of his love.

The role of Douglas DuPont can be doubled by the actor playing Peter Mudd.

  • Time Period Present Day
  • Setting

    The Lovers’ Landing Beach Hotel on a barrier island on the Gulf of Mexico.

  • Features Contemporary Costumes / Street Clothes
  • Additional Features Physical Comedy
  • Duration 120 minutes (2 hours)
  • Cautions
    • No Special Cautions

Media

“A joy to produce and a blast to perform.”

“Once again, Michael and Susan Parker’s wit and wonderful sense of humor came into sharp focus at the world premiere of their newest comedy, Sandy Toes & Salty Kisses.”

“Audiences howled with laughter throughout the premiere as unlikely pairings of guests and staff cavorted barefoot on the beach, dodged flying fish, a mop-wielding receptionist and a jealous fiancé with one oar out of the water.”

“With fast-paced action, inventive physical comedy and crackling dialogue, Sandy Toes & Salty Kisses is an audience hit from start to finish. A joy to produce and a blast to perform.”

Sandy Toes & Salty Kisses is one show you will definitely want to add to your schedule.”

Licensing & Materials

  • Minimum Fee: £55 per performance plus VAT when applicable.

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Authors

Michael Parker

Michael Parker (1935-2019) was active in the theatre almost all his life. At age 14, in England, where he was born and raised, he won the title role in a regional production of Terence Rattigan’s play The Winslow Boy, for which he received a Best Actor of the Year award. By a ...

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Susan Parker

Susan Parker, a prolific Concord Theatricals/Samuel French-published playwright, forged a remarkable theatrical legacy collaborating alongside her late husband with a portfolio of seven acclaimed plays that have graced stages both in the United States and across the globe sin ...
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