Kitty Burns

Kitty Burns
Kitty Burns grew up thinking she was 100% Irish Catholic; then, to her surprise, at 18 years of age, she found out that she was only 50% Irish Catholic. The other 50% was Russian Jew! With an identity crisis like that, she figured that she should get into something sensible and rational that would give her a strong sense of reality, and help her figure out who she “really was,” so she became an actress.
After acting and working in theatre in other jobs, an insightful friend suggested that Ms. Burns write a play. And living by her motto, made famous by Autie Mame, “Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!,” Ms. Burns began her playwriting career.
She has travelled internationally and around the United States; started her own business, The Vampire Tour of San Francisco, for which she wrote the script and performed for over 10 years; and was married at “the young age of 57.” She incorporates these and other experiences into her writing. She has five plays published by Samuel French: Psycho Night at the Paradise Lounge, A Slice of the Blarney and the collection If God Wanted Us to Fly..., which includes Terminal Terror, On Hold at 30,000 Feet and Identity Crisis.
Ms. Burns is grateful for the opportunities she has had in the theatre and in her life, and in her own words: “I’m not done yet, so as long as I have my sense of humor and time to cap on it and my life, there will be more to come.”
Perform Kitty Burns
View all-
Identity Crisis
Kitty Burns
Short Play, ComedyIdentity Crisis
Short Play, Comedy / 3w, 3m
Published in the collection If God Wanted Us To Fly He Would Have Given Us Wings!
-
Psycho Night at the Paradise Lounge
Kitty Burns
Full-Length Play, ComedyPsycho Night at the Paradise Lounge
Full-Length Play, Comedy / 7w, 9m
"Psycho Night is sheer entertainment, a welcome relief from the festering rash of psychological abuse, etc. infecting modern new theatre... Author, Kitty Burns, carefully paced the plot and even the rate at which we learn the character’s names for high impact, and Burns earned high marks." - Joe Papaso
-
A Slice of the Blarney
Kitty Burns
Full-Length Play, Dark ComedyA Slice of the Blarney
Full-Length Play, Dark Comedy / 4w, 3m
Shannon O'Leary is on his death bed. He is a multi-millionaire who knows that his family is just waiting for him to die to see who inherits his fortune. One by one the "faithful" relatives show up and circle like vultures, just waiting. Shannon knows this, but still hopes that there is at least o…
-
If God Wanted Us to Fly...
Kitty Burns
Collection / Anthology, Dark ComedyIf God Wanted Us to Fly...
Collection / Anthology, Dark Comedy / 7w, 8m
A collection of short plays by Kitty Burns.
Shop Kitty Burns
View all-
Identity Crisis
Kitty Burns
Short Play, ComedyIdentity Crisis
Short Play, Comedy / 3w, 3m
-
Psycho Night at the Paradise Lounge
Kitty Burns
Full-Length Play, ComedyPsycho Night at the Paradise Lounge
Full-Length Play, Comedy / 7w, 9m
-
A Slice of the Blarney
Kitty Burns
Full-Length Play, Dark ComedyA Slice of the Blarney
Full-Length Play, Dark Comedy / 4w, 3m
-
If God Wanted Us to Fly...
Kitty Burns
Collection / Anthology, Dark ComedyIf God Wanted Us to Fly...
Collection / Anthology, Dark Comedy / 7w, 8m