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Welcome to Our Village, Please Invade Carefully

Full-Length Play, Comedy  /  3w, 3m

The complete first series of the BBC Radio 4 sitcom about an alien invasion of a small village. This collection includes:

Pilot: Lock-Out
1.1 Taking Overs
1.2 Minimum Volume
1.3 Power Block
1.4 Little Green Lights

When doing individual episodes, please note the specific titles in your application.

Welcome to Our Village, Please Invade Carefully

  • Cast Size
    Cast Size
    3w, 3m
  • Duration
    Duration
    More than 120 minutes (2 hours)
  • SubGenre
    Subgenre
    Science Fiction
  • Audience
    Target Audience
    Adult

Details

Summary

A delightful stage comedy that ingeniously combines elements of science fiction and the idyllic charm of rural British life.

Katrina Lyons only visited Cresdon Green for the weekend to see her parents (and, incidentally, ask if they might lend her the deposit for a flat). Unfortunately, this happened to be the weekend when aliens launched an invasion of the village and put a force-field around it.

Katrina is trapped in the place where she grew up, under the cosh of alien oppression, living with her parents. The invasion, led by warlord Uljabaan, is a covert pilot scheme for a full invasion of Earth. Katrina determines to stop it, and sets up a resistance movement. Disappointingly, her sole recruit is sarcastic stoned teenager Lucy Alexander – everyone else is keen not to rock the boat, and some think having the world run by alien marauders might actually be an improvement. But Katrina presses on, desperate to save the world, and also to get out of here.

This collection includes the scripts for the pilot and first series of the BBC Radio sitcom. Each episode runs about 30 minutes. When doing individual episodes, please note the specific titles in your application.

History
Welcome To Our Village, Please Invade Carefully premiered as a series on BBC Radio 2 on 5 July 2012. The sitcom returned for a second series on BBC Radio 4 from 15 October to 19 November 2014. Produced by Ed Morrish, the series featured Hattie Morahan, Julian Rhind-Tutt and Charles Edwards.
KATRINA LYONS – Thirty-two/thirty-four, Katrina grew up in the Buckinghamshire village of Cresdon Green but has since moved to London, to work for an educational charity helping disadvantaged children. It’s important to her to be seen to be doing the right thing – sometimes more important than getting the right thing done – and so she started the resistance against the invasion. More than anything, Katrina hates not being taken seriously.
ULJABAAN – Seems thirties/forties, but is an alien in human guise. Uljabaan is a warlord in the Geonin military, who are engaged in an endless war with their enemies the Thoufron. He’s able to project an aristocratic surface charm, but is also quite smug and complacent. In truth he’s a low achiever within the officer class, and has been posted to Earth to keep him out of the way: this is his chance to prove himself.
MARGARET LYONS – Early sixties. Katrina’s mother. Margaret has lived in the village all her life, and effectively runs the place. Whilst the invasion isn’t ideal, she can’t help but feel flattered and a little excited that events of global importance are taking place on her doorstep. She doesn’t really have a sense of humour and gets annoyed when things don’t proceed exactly to her design.
RICHARD LYONS – Early sixties. Katrina’s father. Richard is a chartered accountant who was only a few years off retirement, and was looking forward to a quiet life, playing some cricket and maybe finishing that detective novel he’s been working on. He avoids conflict where possible at home and takes the same approach to the invasion. He’s warm, usually relaxed and a little diffident.
LUCY ALEXANDER – Sixteen/eighteen. Lucy is the only child and keen to be noticed. She’s joined the resistance mostly for this reason; also, all her friends live outside Credson Green and there’s no internet since the village got cut off from the outside world, so she’s incredibly bored. She gets stoned a lot and is regularly a beat behind the conversation.
COMPUTER – Uljabaan’s Computer runs the entire invasion scheme, on Uljabaan’s orders. It speaks with an almost, but not entirely, emotionless voice. Hugely advanced, it has a personality as part of its interface and although it’s not supposed to have desires and whims, it can be rather chippy. (The part could be played by an actor of any gender.)
  • Time Period Contemporary, Present Day, New Millennium/21st Century
  • Setting Various locations in the small Buckinghamshire village of Cresdon Green.
  • Features Contemporary Costumes/Street Clothes
  • Duration More than 120 minutes (2 hours)

Media

“A very original, fun way to spend an evening.” – Chandler’s Ford Today

“A pastiche of sci-fi storytelling that lampoons radio plays and the stories of Stephen King and John Wyndham. Presented as a radio play, Welcome to Our Village, Please Invade Carefully is filled with clever humour and wit that results in a very original, fun way to spend an evening.” – Chandler’s Ford Today

“A wacky lark!” – NZ Herald

“A witty stage play that serves as a playful commentary on British village life, human nature, and the often absurd complexity of bureaucratic processes, even in an extraterrestrial context. Robson’s engaging narrative has been translated into a visually stunning and humourously absurd theatrical piece that pushes the boundaries of the classic ‘alien invasion’ narrative. Each scene is packed with dry humour, relatable characters, and enough suspense to keep audiences hooked.” – Madison Theatre Guild

Licensing & Materials

  • Minimum Fee: £70 per performance
    £30 per play individually
    Plus VAT when applicable

Scripts

Available Formats:

Authors

Eddie Robson

Eddie Robson was born in York in 1978. He spent several years working mainly as a journalist and critic, producing books including Coen Brothers (Virgin, 2003) and Film Noir (Virgin, 2005), before moving into scriptwriting and prose. He wrote for BBC Radio sketch shows includ ...
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